


Mistletoe

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Albino Karkat Vantas, Also tavros becomes a tacky Christmas ornament, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Dave has the ugliest sweater of all, Dave is claimed as a housewife, Fluff, Fruitcake, Gristmas, M/M, Marriage Proposal, SO MUCH FLUFF, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, Ugly Sweaters, everyone is happy, spoiler tag: Karkat and Dave get married, tavros eats a lot of fruitcake, theres a lot of food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 07:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2842268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas Eve, and John had to throw a party that for once Dave is happy to go to. He had an incredible surprise for Karkat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> This was never even menant to be davekat I swear  
> But yeah this is my cute Christmas fic. I have not forgotten about blue.

"Dave! Stand on your tip toes or something, I still can't reach!" The grinning redhead on your shoulders giggles, leaning forwards in another attempt to fit the star on top. Honestly, why did the job go to the blind girl in the first place? You'll meet understand your friends' decisions. Terezi lurches forward again and somehow manages to place the ornament lopsidedly on the top of the tree. "Got it!" she yells excitedly, initiating clapping from the small group of people who'd remained around you two for the last half hour as you tried to begin the decorating. Within moments Terezi is off your shoulders and chattering to the crowd that's quickly beginning to scoop ornaments out of boxes and adorn the evergreen with a hodgepodge of badly chosen color combinations.

You disappear into the clutch of people, searching for a specific combination of black, brown and blonde that will signify you've found your three best friends. You see Jade before the other two; she's always been really tall and she nearly reaches your own height. She, John and Rose are laughing about something when you approach. 

"Sup?" you say predictably as you approach. John waves at you, still grinning from whatever Rose'd been saying moments earlier. "What're you guys talking about?" You stop when you reach them, shoving your hands into the pockets of your black jeans. Rose grins, covering her mouth as she shakes her head in refusal to spill. You roll your eyes, under the impression that they were talking about your gift or something embarassing you did at some point. "Whatever. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, you nerds." 

Jade furrows her eyebrows then, opening her mouth to speak. "Uh, Dave? Guys? What's going on over there?" 

You turn to the direction that she's facing, where a boy in a wheelchair- Tavros, you remember- sits worriedly, surrounded by a group of others who are currently in the process of turning Tavros into a weelchair-bound bundle of Christmas joy. Specifically, they all hold an assortment of decorations and are using them to decorate the object that had previously made Tavros relatively mobile. Tinsel is strung between the handles and wheels and a few strings are even wound around his legs. He'd been one of the most excited about coming to the party, as shown by the fluffy reindeer themed sweater and Christmas hat he'd worn, but now he seemed to be having second thoughts. Particularly as Terezi adorned his face with a long, sparkly red string, winding it around the handles and wheels of his wheelchair. Gamzee lifted a stray ornament from the floor, hooking the glittering green object lopsidely into Tavros's hat. He seemed uncomfortable, but somehow unable to refuse the cheerful celebration as his friends laughed around him. You laugh before turning to wave at Tavros, and proceed to join the decorate-the-tree-before-Tavros-is-covered-with-all-the-ornaments group.

Here you find Aradia, Feferi, Sollux, Eridan, your bro and his boyfriend (was his name Jake?) covering the tree in a number of gaudy decorations. You're almost hesitant to dig through the box for a moment before you find a red ornament with some swirly design on it and attach it to the tree amongst one of the more sparsely ornamented areas. After that you're pretty satisfied with decorating in silence for a while as you listen to the others talk. You let your mind wander through various topics until you're thinking about Karkat. Where _is_ he, anyway?

Eventually though, you grow bored of this and decide to go find something else to do. You find yourself joining the quick-before-they-use-it-all-on-the-tree-get-Tav crew, assisting Tavros in stringing a long strand of lights around his arms. By now he's joined in on his own torture, helping to turn himself into a perfect example of a bad Christmas commercial or perhaps the result of a stereotypical eccentric family's holiday joy. You grin as you plug the extension cord into the string of lights, jogging over to the nearest outlet to turn Tavros into not only an exemplary tacky Christmas ornament, but a _glowing_ tacky Christmas ornament. The tinsel and ornaments strung across his wheelchair and sweater glimmered under the added light of the tiny colored bulbs. He looks truly merry. 

You smile again as you leave the scene, moments later stopping again to observe another spectacle. This spectacle is Nepeta Leijon, who is attempting to get Equius into a santa hat with kitty ears and a hideous cat-themed sweater.

"Come onnn! How could it pawsibly hurt?" she grins, her voice almost a meow in itself. "Quit being such a sourpuss and purrt them on! Where's your Christmas spirit? Equius, please!" You laugh as the smaller girl hops around her tall boyfriend, shoving the fluffy objects into his face.  
"Nepeta, this is absolutely ludicrous and I refuse to wear these ridiculous garments. Please go put them away right now." Nepeta just laughs, jumping up and pulling the sweater over his head, effectively pinning his arms to his body despite the fact that he could easily rip it apart. She plops the hat over his sleek black hair and he's forced to shove his arms through the sleeves. Nepeta and Equius's antics have amused you since you met them as best friends in the fourth grade. You believe you recall a similar situation involving Equius, Nepeta and a sweater in the aforementioned grade at that year's Christmas party. 

Someone decides it's time to eat, and you're ushered into the kitchen and a seat in between John and Tavros. Someone managed to move the decorated brunette into the kitchen and he is now happily waiting for dinner to be served. Within moments cooking lines the table, every dish from ham to mashed potatoes. You should've known there'd be an abundance if John, Jane and John's dad were cooking, but it still shocked you.

Naturally only half the food is gone before everyone's begging for dessert. (You again wonder where Karkat is. He is incredibly fond of Jane's cupcakes and he's still not here to enjoy them.)

The food disappears and instead the table is covered with cakes and cookies, pies and puddings, along with some of Mr. Egbert's fruitcake. You bury yourself deep into a slice of cherry pie before moving on to apple. Tavros is engages in more than average consumption of fruitcake, and you honestly are a little frightened for a moments before a loud noise echoes from the living from. Most of the visitors jump up in alarm, and you follow suit as everyone crowds out of the dining room.

It turns out the noise was the door slamming open. In front of you stands Santa Claus.  
Well, upon closer inspection he's not Santa Claus. Bummer. He does, however, have messy white hair and the velvety red suit and hat. In fact, the only things really giving it away, at least to anyone who didn't know this Santa Claus imposter, were the fact that Santa Claus's beard was obviously fake, he was as scrawny as an alley cat, and his eyes were a red to match your own. You hear Nepeta exclaim excitedly to Equius upon noticing the sack Santa's carrying.  
"Oh, look, Eqihiss, it's Santa Claws! Oh, wait, just Karkitty. But he brought purresents!" 

"Ho ho ho," Karkat announces loudly. "Merry fucking Christmas. I bring gifts for all you worthless asshats. Be grateful for this incredible show of goodwill and Christmas spirit or I'll make sure you get a healthy helping of coal or some shit." The group laughs as Karkat shrugs the bag off his shoulders and sets about plundering it of it's treasures. Like children, everyone arranges themselves neatly on the floor in a circle. You roll your eyes, voting to become Santa's helper instead of sitting criss cross apple sauce, despite the incredible amounts of irony involved. Karkat hands you the first present, one in simple, cherry red packaging. You read the label.

"Alright, this one's for Terezi. Merry Christmas." The box finds it's way into her hands and she almost tears it open, but Karkat interrupts.

"No. You don't get to open it until everyone else has theirs. This is the season of giving shit, not receiving it." There's another laugh and the second package is deposited into your waiting arms. Red, with green ghosts all over. It's fairly small. 

"John," you announce. John receives his gift happily. You go through like this for a while until everyone has a box or bag, and within moments everyone's tearing paper apart. Terezi grins excitedly at the feel of a new scalemate and John's thanking Karkat for the shitty Nic Cage movie he got him. 

You turn to Karkat with the sudden realization that you still haven't gotten a gift from your boyfriend. Something else pricks your mind, but you push the excited thought away. Karkat's gift is a surprise. "Hey, Kitkat. What do I get?" The albino turns to look at you, discarding his Santa hat onto a couch.  
"Greedy, aren't you?" he groans, but you can hear the affection in his voice as he plants a girly kiss on your cheek. You've trained him well in the art of irony. "Anyway, I got you something, wait five fucking seconds." He digs something out of the bottom of the bag and hands you a squishy package with red wrapping, patterned with black, pixelated records. You quickly tear into it, and you can almost feel Karkat's eyes roll. 

Inside the package is a sweater. It's bright red, and decorated with little Rudolphs dancing around the top and bottom. The sleeves sport green stripes and each reindeer's nose has a little light attached. In the middle, _Merry Christmas_ is patterned in lights as well. A button is hidden near the bottom hem. Naturally, you press it. The reindeers' noses flash red and the wording in the center blinks an alternating red and green. This sweater is absolutely hideous. 

You love it.

"Thanks, Karkat," you grin, using his real name for once. Karkat offers you one of his rarer expressions, a smile, and it's so fucking cute that you can't help but kiss him right there. He leans into you, but before you end up making out you split, noting that most of the room has noticed by now. 

You pull the sweater over your head, shrug it on over the white and red T-shirt you'd been wearing, and click the button again, turning it on before grabbing Karkat's hand to lead him into the dining room to enjoy dessert. Just as you predicted, he eats the hell out of those cupcakes, almost claiming the whole tray by himself as you treat yourself to more cherry pie. You sit by him rather than Tavros now, holding his hand under the table despite how hard that makes eating. You love this asshole so much.

As you a arrive in the living room again, Rose declares that she has gifts. It turns out she's passing out hand-knitted ugly sweaters, each personalized to their receiver. John wears one patterned with Ghostbusters logos as ornaments. Terezi's teal sweater is decorated with a gaudy, colorful dragon. Karkat receives a red and green striped sweater that reads "ba hum bug, but I want presents" in blocky grey print. Feferi's has fish, Sollux's is red and blue with a bee on the front, Aradia's is ghost themed. Everyone gets a personalized hideous sweater, including you- yours resembles your favorite white shirt with red sleeves, complete with the little record icon in the center. "Thanks, Rosalyn," you grin at your sister.  
"You're welcome, David." You almost feel mean for not putting the sweater on, but you'd rather wear Karkat's gift right now.

Later on, there's a game played in the living room. You don't participate, so all you gather is that whoever's 'it' asks some trivia question of whoever's up and if they get it right, they're it. If they get it wrong, they're out. The object of the game is to be the last one standing. Most of it is movie trivia, so unsurprisingly, Jake wins. His prize is a cute little snowglobe with a reindeer in it that plays "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" when you wind it up.  
After that, everyone watches Elf. You have to say it's your favorite Christmas movie. During said movie, you inform Karkat that one day you're going to make him spaghetti with syrup for breakfast. He gags dramatically and you laugh before he tells you to shut up and watch.

In an astounding show of maturity, the next thing you decide to do on this pleasant Christmas Eve is play hide-n-seek. You end up curled up with Karkat in a closet for half an hour and are one of the last to be found by Jade, who was it. She informs you of her personal favorite hiding places. Nepeta hid on top of the fridge, crouched in between the forest of chip bags. John was discovered in the oven which had luckily been off for quite some time. Kanaya and Rose had hidden in the wardrobe of a spare room. She found Equius first because he was trying to pull himself into the rafters of the attic and managed to break several beams. (The house was not going to come down as a result, she assures you.)

"The thing is," she sighs quietly as you enter her bedroom cluttered with the 'found' posse, "I can't seem to find Dirk. He's no where!" You grin at this. Your bro could be anywhere, you know. He can get to anything. The smart thing to do would be to ask someone close to him like you or Jake where he might be, but you have no ideas and you know for a that asking Jake will be a fruitless measure.  
Suddenly, though, you get an idea.

"Jade, come outside," you order, and before she can respond you've dashed through the hallway and out into the snow. She follows suit, but doesn't bother leaving the porch.

You hoist yourself into the tree closest to John's house, quickly navigating into the uppermost branches. With a deep breath, you take a flying leap onto the roof, hearing Jade gasp below you. As you suspected, there sits Dirk Strider, your bro, messaging someone. It's likely his AI. 

"Hey. Bro. Found ya. Come inside, I'm freezing my balls off out here." Dirk rolls his eyes. "Whatever. Does it even count if you found me and not Jade?" You don't bother answering and just hop off of the roof and into the snow, the soft plop beside you confirming that Dirk's done the same.

"Found him, Jade. He was on the roof. I'm guessing he wins?" you ask as the three of you reenter the house. Jade nods.  
"Yeah. I think the prize is a stuffed unicorn or something." She giggles at the thought of someone like Dirk with a stuffed unicorn, but you know he'll adore it. Despite that, his response is monotone.

"Yeah. Sounds cool." As expected, when you all return to John, Dirk is rewarded with his unicorn. 

Soon enough everyone's back in the living room, talking and such, until someone promptly grabs you by the back of your sweater. You're pulled a few feet from where you'd been standing, and you can't tell much difference until Karkat's pushed in front of you and he points up with an amused face-palm. Mistletoe. Sure enough, about two feet away stands Nepeta. She stares expectantly as the two of you do Absolutely Nothing.

"Well? Go on, kiss!" she exclaims, fluttering her hands together. You raise an eyebrow.

"Nepeta, I've been with him for five years. We don't need mistletoe to kiss." 

She motions towards her leg.. No, her pocket, excitedly. Your face lights up in sudden understanding. Well, now's as good a time as any. You clear your throat loudly, catching the attention of Karkat as well as everyone else in the room.

"Alright, I'm gonna do what'll probably the most important thing I do in my life right now. This shit is going to surpass the signing of the Declaration of Independence in all it's glory. Maybe I won't go down in the history books for it, but I sure as hell should, 'cause this shit takes a lot of nerve." You cut down the rambling and metaphors, effectively letting everyone know you're serious. "Karkat, I've known you since we were kids, and we all know you had the nerdiest crush on me in high school. That was great, but back to the point. I've been with you for five years and I've loved you.. Hell, I don't know how long. This time with you's been the best few years of my life, and since moving in with you I feel like nothing can ever go wrong again. Lately I've been thinking I want my life to be that way for a long time, somewhere around forever. So I guess.. I guess what I'm asking is.." 

You fumble around in your pocket for minute before pulling out a small black box and dropping to a knee. You remove your shades slightly dramatically, holding the box open in front of Karkat in an effort to mimic his shifty romcoms.  
"Karkat Vantas, would you make me the happiest dude in the world and be my husband?"

Karkat bites his lip, and you think he's going to cry for a moment before he drops to his knees and throws his arms around your shoulders. "Yes. Yes, Dave, hell yes. Hell fucking yes." You stand, picking the shorter man up with you and spinning him around before dipping him down into a kiss. When you stand, there's clapping, a lot of clapping, but all you can hear is Karkat.  
"Dave, you're going to make one hell of a housewife."


End file.
